Illusions

Blogging from my phone again, so bear with me. Just read my friend Pandora's blog titled Shattered illusions. That title resonated with me. I find that I really have no illusions left. The last few months have stripped away every last one. I have learned that family can't be trusted. Most friends shake their heads and give advice I really can't follow. I don't even trust the ground I stand on anymore.

I was talking to a member of my church and was told that I had caused them to question their faith. Said that they now questioned a God that would so test someone. Wtf does that even mean? God's got it in for me, too? Most days, I feel like a boxer that keeps getting beat, but is too stubborn to go down. But it really isn't being stubborn, I just don't know what else to do. Just not really wanting to be here anymore.

So, non in this place and this time, there are no illusions left. And the only happy endings are in the movies.